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Ok, now before I have everyone attacking me, let me explain... now it's not that I hate them so much, it's more of a frustration and confusion. I only hate two of them, and if you know me, you know who these two are. I do not understand how a man can put another man's dick in his mouth after it has been in his ass. It makes no sense. It is not that hard of a concept: just like girls! It boggles my mind how a man can find another man attractive. It also pisses me off when you are gay, but you don't come out and take the girls. Now, I know I am not "pleasing" to look at, but don't take them from the guys who actually like the girls. If you don't like 'em, don't fake it. Now, I do not mind it when a homosexual is quiet about his sexuality... it is not something to be proud of, so don't flash it like a fucking diamond. Just wear normal clothes, talk like a man, and kiss guys in the privacy of your own home, not on the streets. Now, lesbians, that's a different story. However, there is a difference between lesbian and dyke. Dykes are butch, and look like they can produce sperm like the average man. Lesbians are kinda hot in their own gay way. Even though lesbianism is more acceptable in today's society, I can understand why, can't you? Lesbians can do things lovingly and sensually.. now, on the other hand, you have two guys swordfighting seeing who can deep-throat the farthest... it's just gross... I feel infected when I walk by a fag, it's one of those things, to me, at least, that was created when God was stoned or something... he must have been like, "Hey Moses.. check this out.. hehe.. I am gonna create fags... these guys that like to fuck each other in the aAAAAHAHAHAHA..... in the ass... hahahaha!!!! That'll be a sight..."

OK... I work at a video store in the YOC... I know it's sad, but it's not a bad gig... anyways, everyday I work, I hate kids more than the day before.. now, don't get me wrong, I love kids from when they are newborn to about 4 years old. Then, there is a span of about 12-13 years that they are just a bunch of fucks wandering the earth and being a pain in the ass and fucking up my universe. Now, I owe all of this to that fucking Japanese cartoon, Pokemon. Think about it. I know first hand, because of my place of employment. Day after day, I get some piece of shit kid asking if we have the latest Pokemon video, and when I say "I don't know," or "no, we don't," they complain to me like I can pull one out of my fucking ass. This cartoon lets kids think that they run the fucking universe and they can keep all their shit in a little fuckin ball. Now, you may be asking yourself, "man, didn't thenotsoslimshady ever watch cartoons as a kid?" Well, as a matter of fact, I did. Scooby Doo, He-Man, and shit like that... but I never dressed up as a fucking hippie and tried to solve mysteries. I never ran out in my underwear and tried to find Skeletor. And if I went to a video store asking for a video with one of those cartoons on it and they said that they didn't have one, I would be upset, of course, but I would not give the clerk a fucking attitude. Who the fuck do these kids think they are? Every once in a while, a parent will get fed up with the attitude the kids are giving them and will jokingly say "can I leave them with you..?" You know what.. please do! I guaran-fucking-tee that the kid will smarten up, at least for a while, and he/she certainly will never give me a fucking attitude again. I'll kick his ass outta the fuckin' store and let them freeze their fucking ass off, and yell at them 'til I give them a complex bigger than I am. I hate when kids hit the age when they can talk back, because, as the wise Pokemon tought them, they own the world, and are masters of their own little domain... well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not, kid. A stupid man once said " you can be anything you want to be... " well, this wise man says " no you can't, not on my watch. " Kids, treat people the way you want to be treated... I do... I leave people the fuck alone.

Customers have to be the dumbest people on the fucking planet. At my video store, we have daily specials... and for these specials, we hang a BIG FUCKING poster outside, about 4x6 feet to let people know what the special is for the day, yet we still have sooo many fucking people come in and say, " Hey, um, what's the special today..?" YOU FUCKING RETARD!!! DID YOU NOT SEE THE HUGE SIGN ON THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING?!?!?! Now maybe I am just an insensitive person, or maybe it's just me.. well, let us take a journey back in time about a year ago when I worked at a movie theater.. Now, you would think that if you are going to see a movie, you may be hungry, or high, and want something to eat/drink, right...? Now I'll admit it was like $6.00 for a fuckin popcorn, which is steep, but some people want some food reguardless. Now, there was always a line... a line long enough for a normal human being to make the insignificant decision on what kind of snacks they want... however... there is a problem... customers are not normal human beings... they are mindless little things that sit there with a blank stare on their face until you wave a toy in front of them to grab the focus of their ever-shrinking attention span. This is true, ask anyone who has ever had a position of customer service... people are fucking stupid as it is, but I place customers somewhere in between the crust that you get in the corner of your eye when you wake up in the morning and the white stuff that gathers in the corners of your mouth when you are really thirsty.

Like I have said before, I work at a video store, and at our store, we have an "adult" section. It's PORN... ok.. PORN. Don't beat around the bush (no pun intended..) about it, you go back there for the videos and magazines. Well, we get guys that go in to rent a video or two... that's ok. We get guys that come in and rent four, maybe taking advantage of the rent 2 get 2 free special, that's pushing it. Then there are guys that come in and take advantage of our adult only special... rent 4, get 4 free. That's 8 porno videos. That's five days and EIGHT porno videos. What are you gonna do with 8 videos... wait, wait.. I mean, I know what you are gonna do with them, but why 8 videos. OK, it's time for a little math... ok, each of these videos is between 2-4 fucking hours, literally between 2 and 4 hours, so that is an average of 3 hrs. Now, multiply that by 8 videos. So the man who rents 8 videos has 24 hours of porn on his hands. Ewwww, all over his hands. Now, if you think about it, it is physically impossible to jerk it for 24 hrs. THREE MINUTES! That's all you need... 3 minutes. Thats 24 minutes, not hours. That means that there are an average of 12 times in one video that you can spank it. So, just relax and get one video, hell, get 4 videos, but 8... c'mon now.... Then, there are the guys who get a little hand basket and get 16 videos, 16 porns! What in the hell can you do with 16 porno videos... I hope he is a critic, but I doubt it.... and then... there is the one guy who brings up 16 videos... and they are all gay/she-male videos... MY GOD!!! It is SO disgusting... *ugh*, if I see him in line, I leave the fucking register, let someone else handle it... Well, I have saved the best for last... there is one guy who has come (ugh) and rented the pornos so much, he is known by name by the manager, Mike, who lets him behind the counter to look at the porns which we haven't had the time to put on the shelf. He just strolls behind the counter. And this guy is a creepy loser guy... worse than Dan... and when this guy returns his videos...... there is splooge on em... Luckily, I wasn't the one to check them in, or I would have run out there and beat the living fuck out of him..... these are the ones I consider Dirty Old Men.

Again, don't get me wrong, and maybe it's just me, but as soon as Prom is over, the friendship dissappears, and this time, It's not because of me. I mean, I like to get out there and dance, dance, dance, just like every other fat kid on the planet, but it's just a well known fact. EVERY prom date I have had is no longer friends with me as much as we were before. examples: 10th grade, I went to the Winter Ball with my best friend at the time. We had a good time, now, after the dance, we've barely talked. Like seriously about 30 minutes total since sophmore year. OK, so maybe its a coincidence... let's fast-forward a year to the Junior Prom. Now, for the Junior Prom, I was supposed to go with the girl I went with in 10th grade, who was a year younger than me. Well, it happens that my good friend's date dropped her, and she was left stranded with like 2 weeks before prom... well, I felt like I had to step in, so I told the other girl what happened, she called me an asshole (but about a week later apologized) and walked away. Well, I went with this friend who I knew since freshman year. She was hot, hot, hot too. Had a pretty good time at the dance, then afterwards... nothin'. I mean, we were cool for about another 6 months, but then, nothin'. It's not like the friendship that dissappeared sophmore year, it's just that we didn't talk as much as we used to. I haven't seen her in over six months now. Her loss. So now we arrive at senior year... the year's almost over, and there is another girl who is amazing, even though she was a year younger than me. The Senior Ball is a time when you and someone special get together for one last time as a high school student, I mean, this is a big deal. So, I gather the nerve to ask her, and she was flattered and said yes. I was thrilled. So, prom night comes along and i'm nervous like Kunta Kinte at a Klan rally, but there's a problem...

1. One - She is late to my house. So late in fact that the limo has to pick her up at her house on the way to the fucking prom.
2. Two - When we get there, we barely danced because she kept having something else to do... AT MY PROM!!!